Originally posted in 2014.
I have been asked to post this again.
You might have read some of my opinions on
if you have read my blog for a long time.
Every woman on earth has reflected on this
topic at one time or another.
the world is full of memes now...
you are be-you-tiful
catchy stuff like that.
Yet, there are those plastic
magazines telling tales of
how to BE
better, younger, smarter, etc.
Do all of this..
and you can be
beauty is not just on the outside....
it is what's inside as well."
I personally choose not to look at magazines
or read them.
They want my money.
they don't like the REAL me!
So, when I went to San Diego a few weeks ago
I was trying to decide what I would read on the plane.
Something light, short, entertaining...
I'd seen this book before,
but was afraid it would be full of
meme-ish sweetened garbage that kind of makes
me groan sometimes.
Heading out of Walmart I was at whits end,
and just grabbed it on the way to the checkout stand
simply because I was attracted to the cover
(I am pretty shallow sometimes).
To my surprise, it wasn't what I thought at all!
Small essays on varied individuals perspective of
their own beauty in their lives.
I found it rather fascinating!
I especially was intrigued by the ladies who put it together.
And....there is a man's perspective on his OWN beauty
as well, which is refreshing.
Soooo...loving ourselves has been on my mind alot lately for some reason.
Maybe it's the Easter season and reflection
on what our Savior has done for us,
I don't know.
But, I have issues. ; )
I have been self loathing.
Yes, that's right, self loathing.
My whole life, as far back as I can remember, I have compared myself to others
and never really felt I cut the mustard, so to speak.
(My first birthday party on the block in El Sobrante, CA,
maybe I was 2???)
Where I picked this up, I don't know.
I came from a loving, successful family.
I think it is just an unfortunate part of who I am.
Soooo....I have done the negative self- talk for years, knowing it was
something I should over come, that it was wrong because I really couldn't be THAT bad, could I? And then one day.....a while back.....
I vowed to stop.
I was so sick and tired of feeling bad all of the time.
Too many years...a life time of beating myself up.
I just wanted to feel happy with myself.
Like who I was.
Not listen to the world, or others who felt otherwise.
Turn off the TV, stop reading magazines, say "You are wrong" to those ads.
Just say "no" to feeling bad about myself.
Not to let anything take my courage away.
I am happy to say I am a reformed self- loather.
I fall off the wagon every now and then, but I talk myself out of falling into
the helpless pit of self-pity.
And what has made the difference?
I realized how selfish it was to have self-hatred.
It made me concentrate on myself at the strangest times,
when really.....it was all about
loving my neighbor, and not thinking about myself in any way shape or form,
meaning not concentrating on my 'negative' features.
If the Savior can love me enough to give His
life for you, and for....... me,
we all must be really something, right?
I think it hurts His feelings when I don't love myself.
I don't want to do that.
So, be gone to the skinny ladies who want me to be like them!
Be gone to the wrinkle-free ladies who tell me my wrinkles are abnormal!
Be gone to all the smart people who say I should be smarter!
Be gone to the people who say 50 is the new 30.....my gosh I just want to be 50 and have wrinkles and forget my name every now and then and call my husband "Karl" the cat's name instead of his own name and drive like an old lady maniac and celebrate my double chin and repeat the same story over and over and over again....
Let me be!
Cuz, I love myself now and I am worth loving as much as anyone else! ; )
Due to the nature of being me, I of course worry
(because that's another thing I do,
because I do it well,
I am working on reform)
and hope that others don't perceive me as a self-loving
but then I love my fellowman a whole lot and I hope that counterbalances
my new-found happiness.
So, if I had a wish in the whole wide world, I'd
wish that you too could feel the joy of knowing you are a child of God,
a person worth loving,
an individual of worth,
who is of value enough to
every day you are on this
you are loved.
And so am I.
I shall step off my soap box now.
Love to you all,
my little cutie-kins.
Have a splendid Wednesday!
(and, you know I do truly think you are
cuz I am schmarmy like that...)